Moshi Moshi
by kaze suzume
Summary: Sakura would never, ever, pick up any snails or other living beings on her way home from a double hospital shift again. [Twoshot]
1. Chapter 1

**Moshi Moshi**

* * *

A straw hat. It was wearing a tiny straw hat with a red ribbon for embellishment.

While Sakura was no stranger to creatures of curious colourings and sizes, she had never happened upon one quite like this.

On her way home from her double hospital shift, the nineteen-year-old medic-nin had found the snail the size of Pakkun turned over in her dry soil-laden flower pot outside her apartment door. She pitied the fellow, and in her move to turn it right-side-up she was then further surprised with the additional buttons and receiver that were generally _not_ found on a shell of a common snail found in Konoha. Or anywhere else for that fact.

Baffled, the female was pulled from her unintelligible mental repeat of '_what the hell'_ when her empty stomach gave an unpleased rumble. Right, double hospital shift and no food. Shifting the snail under one arm, she swiftly unlocked her front door and ventured into her humble abode, growling when she spotted a heap of orange dyed fabric laying in an untidy pile on the middle of her living room floor. When she scolded Naruto about wearing the same shirt for an entire week because it was unsanitary and disgusting and that he needed clean clothes did _not_ mean she would do his laundry for him!

Wrinkling her nose with distaste, she ignored and passed her best friend's audacity that covered her grey carpet. Strolling into the kitchen, she set the large snail carefully on her small wooden table, pulled a day old sandwich from her fridge and ungracefully set her rump on a chair directly in front of it.

Taking a bite of chilled lettuce, tomato, chicken and white bread, she leaned forward, her forearms resting on her table in front of the unusual honeydew coloured snail. It's eyes were closed as if in slumber, and when she drew closer she noticed it had two tiny appendages on either side of it that almost resembled arms.

Leaning in closer, Sakura didn't notice her sandwich was touching the snail until it's mouth opened and took a bite of her meal. She gaped in morbid fascination as the odd creature began to nibble the green ends of the crisp lettuce nestled in her sandwich, it's eyes still remaining closed.

_Pururururururu_

A strange high-pitched noise leapt out of her mouth as Sakura jumped a foot high off of her seat when the snail began to _ring_ at her of all things. Clutching at her chest in an attempt to stop her erratic heart from hammering out of her ribcage, she reached forward in a dazed manner and set her fingers over the receiver, contemplating if she should answer the snail.

_Pururururururu_

It could be some sort of trap, contain a hidden jutsu, blow up... well, if someone knew they were going to get to Haruno Sakura by dumping a ringing snail with a straw hat into her flower pot because she couldn't contain her curiosity then they deserved a gold star. She snatched up the receiver before she lost her nerve and brought it up to her mouth, the snail's eyes snapping open as she did.

"Moshi moshi?" The typical greeting was only slightly hesitant, and the pinkette chewed her bottom lip with nervousness.

"_OH! SOMEONE ANSWERED!"_

It could have been the shocking enthusiasm that came from the male voice that stupefied her, however the way the snail suddenly became so animated was the reason why the receiver dropped from her frozen hand to clatter on the tabletop. Little arms stretched out wide, it's eyes opened large and mouth stretched in the largest smile she had ever seen as it shouted. The snail looked absolutely _thrilled_.

"_HEY! YOU STILL THERE? YOU DIDN'T JUST HANG UP ON ME DID YOU?"_

"Ah... no, um-" Sakura sputtered, the fallen receiver still able to pick up her voice.

"_OH GOOD! I'M MONKEY D. LUFFY! THE MAN WHO IS GOING TO BECOME THE PIRATE KING!"_

"Uh-" Pirates? She had gotten in contact with pirates using a snail with a straw hat?

"_Luffy!"_ A female cut Sakura off, using a tone that resembled the one she often used with Naruto. _"What do you think you're doing! You don't even know who you're talking to!"_

"_Nami!"_ The voice she could now identify as Luffy whined._ "That doesn't matter! I'm going to become the Pirate King no matter what!"_

"_THAT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH THE CURRENT SITUATION IDIOT!"_ Sakura could hear the telltale thump of someone being hit, and she was sure it was Luffy._ "This is all your fault! Do you realize how much beli it was to get that den den mushi? And then you went and LOST it!"_

"_But it's okay! Someone picked up and we can get it back!"_

"_No it isn't! We're in the middle of the sea and that den den mushi could be anywhere!"_ Nami seethed at Luffy, and Sakura stared with a gaping mouth as the snail's expression constantly flipped back and forth between overjoyed and irate as the two different voices came from it's mouth.

"_Who picked up anyways? WAIT! IT ISN'T A MARINE IS IT?"_ The snail looked panicked as the new male spoke up, and she wondered what a Marine was.

"_Hey hey! You aren't a Marine are you?"_ Luffy questioned, the snail all smiles.

"No-"

"_See, she isn't a Marine! We're fine!"_

"_Oh thank god! Then who is it? And where are they calling from?"_

"_Yeah! Who is this?"_

"Haruno Sakura." She automatically responded, still trying to wrap around her head the fact that she was currently corresponding through a snail.

"_Sakura-san~! A delicate name to go with a beautiful woman no less~!"_ She was disturbed when the snail adopted an expression she had only gotten from Lee when they had first met.

"_Shut it you shitty cook. You can't even see her, she probably looks like a sea king."_

"Hey!" Sakura protested. She didn't know what a sea king was, but she knew it was offensive.

"_What was that you idiot marimo?!"_ The snail went from enraged to loving within a millisecond. _"Just ignore him, my beautiful Sakura-san."_

"Umm.." She tiredly combed through tangled pink locks, unable to follow the erratic flow of conversation. Sakura would never, ever, pick up any snails or other living beings on her way home from a double hospital shift again.

"_May I have another cup of tea, Sanji?"_

"_Of course Robin-chwan!"_

Doubt had filled her when Luffy first yelled that he was to become the next Pirate King, but this was ridiculous. Weren't pirates bloodthirsty as they hunted the seas and ruthless in their pillaging ways? It was rather difficult to believe that this eccentric and lively group were pirates.

"_Ah, Sakura-san?"_

"Yes, Nami-san?" Somehow being addressed by name brought some normalcy to the entire ordeal, giving her a sliver of relief.

"_Woah! She know's Nami's name! Is she psychic?"_ The snail's eyes practically glittered with excitement.

"No, you've just said her name before, Luffy-san." Sakura corrected him, and she laughed a little when the snail physically drooped with disappointment.

"_Aw, that's so lame."_

"_Luffy! Stop being so rude!"_ Nami scolded the future Pirate King. _"Anyways, Sakura-san, where did you find our den den mushi?"_

"It was upside down in my flower pot. I didn't know what to do with it, so I brought it inside." Propping up her elbows on the table, she clasped her hands together and rested her chin against them. "That's when you called."

"_Oh, well thank you for finding it for us! Where are you? If we're headed in that direction, we might be able to pick it up."_

Nami had previously stated that they were currently at sea, and while the Land of Fire did have several ports to the sea, Konoha was quite a bit further inland and she doubted that the pirates would venture that far from the water. But all of that was moot point when confronted with the fact that _pirates_ could possibly be close to the Land of Fire's borders, and as a citizen of said country she had an obligation to report it and deter them from her home. They could go find another damn snail.

"I'm not located by any ports," she began carefully, as to not arouse any suspicion. "And rather close to Kusagakure." It wasn't a complete lie, the Land of Fire did border onto Kusagakure.

"_...Huh?"_

"_Kusa-what? Can I eat it?"_

"_You can't eat places idiot! Kusagakure... I've never heard of it before."_

"What?" Sakura exclaimed. How could they have never heard of Kusagakure before? Sure it was small, but people knew of it.

"_Hmm... maybe it's unmapped? There are a lot of places we haven't sailed to yet. Sakura-san, which continent are you on?"_

The medic-nin blinked comprehensively at the snail speaking with Nami's voice. Unmapped? What kind of map were they using that didn't have the basic borders of each land?

"Do you know of the Five Great Shinobi Nations?" Sakura pinched the bridge of her nose hoping to prevent the headache that was on the verge of knocking on her cranium.

"_Five Great Shinobi Nations? Can I eat-"_

"_NO!"_ Several voices chimed in at once.

The pirate crew began to yell in earnest with each other while Sakura silently cradled her head in her calloused hands. Was it possible? Was it possible that there was a whole world of land that they were unaware of across the sea? But they had sailors, ships that had traveled out far in the blue horizons with the gulls and sirens of the sea.

Their knowledge of the shinobi nations was null, and yet their den den mushi had somehow ended up on her front door when Luffy had _lost_ it. How did such a creature that appeared to have no swimming capabilities (or travel capabilities at all, the thing was a _snail_ after all) cross the sea and inland to Konohagakure when the people who originally had it didn't even know such a place existed?

Sakura's head pounded.

"Nami-san," she interrupted the pirates that were now shouting at each other. "Where are you originally from?"

"_Me? Cocoyashi Village in East Blue. Why?"_

That was confirmation enough. There was land out there that they had no knowledge of until now.

"I've never heard of it." She admitted with a bitter taste in her mouth.

"_Well I'm not really surprised, it is a small village."_

"No, I've never heard of East Blue." Sakura amended, and then there was a brief silence on the other side of the line.

"_..."_

"_WHAT? Never heard of East Blue? What are you, stupid?"_

_Do not hit the snail, do not hit the snail. The snail is not responsible for what comes out of Luffy's mouth._ Sakura took a deep calming breath and left her seat to get herself a glass of water. It wouldn't calm her down much, but at least it put some necessary distance between her and the unfortunate snail that could become collateral damage in her urge to hit Luffy.

"_Luffy! You never call a lady stupid!"_

"_Sakura-san,"_ Nami commandeered the receiver once again._ "What about North Blue? South Blue? West Blue? The Grand Line?"_

The worn and weary female took a large gulp of water and set the glass on the table with resignation. "Never heard of them."

"_What the hell, you live in a hole somewhere or what?"_

"_Shut up idiot marimo!"_

"_You sh-"_

"_Sakura-san."_ A new female voice sounded, and Sakura perked up with curiosity. Just how many people were in that pirate crew? It was surprising enough that they had one female crew member, let alone two. She didn't think that piracy was common with women.

"Yes? And you may be?"

"_Nico Robin. It's a pleasure. Where is it exactly you're from?"_

"Konohagakure of the Land of Fire." She willingly gave them the information; it wasn't as if they had a map to locate her.

"_And what is it that you do in Konohagakure?"_

"A shinobi."

"_THAT'S SO COOL!"_ Luffy's exuberance and excitement never failed to astound her, it was usually something that Naruto or Lee expressed to that degree. _"Hey Sakura! You should become my nakama!"_

"What?"

"_What?!"_ She and the rest of the pirate crew exclaimed in unison.

"_Don't ask strangers to join our crew you idiot!"_

"_I can't believe you're just deciding on something like this by yourself AGAIN!"_

"_She's not a stranger, we know each other's names!"_

"_You haven't even met her face to face!"_

"_She's a shinobi! She has to be awesome!"_

"_I swear there's something wrong with your brain!"_

"_We don't have a shinobi we have to have one!"_

"_Shinobi are assassins, aren't they? Nononono! We don't need one!"_

"_Assassins are scary!"_

"_What is she a collector's edition? 'Find a shinobi for your crew', THIS ISN'T A BINGO GAME LUFFY!"_

"_Well she does have our den den mushi..."_

"_Ohh good point Robin! See we can pick her up and get the den den mushi at the same time!"_

"_And how do you expect us to do that Captain Brainless? We don't even know where the Land of Fire is!"_

"_I don't care! Sakura's joining my crew!"_

"Um..." Sakura interjected at that moment. It had been impossible to voice her opinion in the mass of voices before. "I'm sorry, Luffy-san, but I have to decline your offer to join your crew."

"_WHAT?!"_

"I serve under the Hokage of the village. I can't leave and become a pirate, even if you did know how to get here." Sakura tried to reason with Luffy while squashing the spark of happiness and flattery that came with the pirate's desire for her to become his nakama.

"_NO!"_

"..No..?"

"_You're not allowed to decline!"_

"W-what?" Sakura was taken aback yet again.

"_You're our nakama! I won't accept any other shinobi but you Sakura!"_

"_Luffy just-"_

"_That's final!"_

"_..."_

"_...well I guess that's it."_

Sakura gawked at the den den mushi.

"_Yeah, no sense trying to change that idiot's mind now."_

"_You're just too stubborn, Luffy."_

"Wait, what? No no no I can't-" Everything was spiralling out of control, and Sakura didn't even have an inkling of how to find steady ground. It was if she had just been cast out to sea, bound and without lick of chakra.

"_Just wait for us, Sakura-san."_

"_Welcome to the Straw Hat Pirates!"_

* * *

**A/N:**

...yeah... oh god please don't shoot me ahahaha. Not edited **(poorly edited now!)**, short and all sorts of terrible but it attacked the brain and wouldn't let go. It's all pretty much bare bones (barely even that) because I wanted to write it in one sitting and it's intended to be a oneshot. I probably won't continue it, but the idea of writing more One Piece and Naruto crossovers is out there (after I write all the other stories I'm supposed to write orz). **I lied. It's all your fault reviewers.**

Anyhow.. yeah.. /dies in a corner/


	2. Chapter 2

**Moshi Moshi**

* * *

Eight hours. That was the total time agreed upon when Haruno Sakura would be once again voiced by their mint toned den den mushi that had a plain red stripe streaked across it's shell. After the first den den mushi, Nami had declared that finding miniature hats identical to Luffy's was too costly and that the stripe would be sufficient. But that was besides the point.

Eight.

Hours.

When the shinobi had exhaustively explained that she required rest after several more hours of conversation in order to, how did she put it- _"...get some overdue sleep and allow myself to wrap my head around this convoluted and insane debacle that by all rights only Naruto should ever have the misfortune of procuring!"_ -Nami had to translate the words, and Luffy had been upset that his newest crewmember wanted to give up time with him for _sleep_ (he also didn't understand why the more tired she got the more complicated her vocabulary became) of all things and demanded that she stay on the den den mushi or else the moment she hung up he would continue to call her until she picked up again.

For some reason that was obvious to every single one of the Straw Hat Pirates excluding it's captain, the female grew irritated and her voice sharpened to a cold edge; her words cutting deep and building a healthy amount of fear within the hearts and minds of Usopp and Chopper who had clung to each other in their fright.

After an hour of what felt like playing ping-pong with a bomb with it's short fuse blazing away, they had finally reluctantly agreed upon giving the shinobi eight hours to herself. None of the Straw Hats were to attempt to contact her through the den den mushi and Sakura would be the one to call them when she was rested enough within the eight hours. However, if the female failed to come forth within the timeframe, then Luffy would be given free reign over the snail and her little abode would be filled with unpleasant and insistent ringing. Of course in order to reach this conclusion Sakura was growling that she would dispose of the snail if the pirates _dared_ to intrude on her precious hours of peace and quiet and therefore they would _never_ hear from her again, Nami then began violently shaking her captain, hissing that if they lost their den den mushi that she spent her money on because he didn't know the meaning of patience; he would be wishing for an apocalypse to end his suffering.

The good things that stemmed from the situation? Most of the Straw Hat Pirates and Sakura were now on a friendly first-name basis that didn't require any suffixes. Although it could have been a result of the medic-nin being too vexed to care about pleasantries, and Luffy never bothered with them in the first place. The rest of the crew simply followed suit.

So, seven hours and fifty-three minutes later, the Straw Hat Pirates were once again entertaining the idea of poison, mutiny, torture, imprisonment, drowning - _anything that would make their captain shut up!_

"Hey," Luffy whined loudly. "Has it-"

"_NO!_" The crew angrily chorused together.

"How much-"

"SHUT UP!" A heeled boot bounced off the back of his head, almost displacing the straw hat from it's place.

"But it's been so loooooong." Luffy complained childishly as he flopped onto his belly and flailed his rubbery arms wildly on the grassy deck of the Thousand Sunny.

_We know._ The crew mentally groaned. This had been the longest eight hours for all of them, but for an entirely different reason than their captain's. Since the start of the very first hour, Luffy had wailed, bellyached, complained and repeatedly questioned if the eight hours were up and how much time was left like a broken record that nobody enjoyed listening to in the first place. For those who sailed the seas for what could be weeks at a time, these eight hours were utterly unbearable. _Please Sakura, PLEASE just call! Someone just end these torturous eight hours!_

_Puru-_

Barely a beat after the den den mushi began to ring, Luffy's rubber arm had snatched the receiver off of it's shell with a speed that could rival his Jet Pistol, and his louder than life voice shot off just as quickly.

"MOSHI MOSHI? SAKURA?! What took you so long? We've been waiting FOREVER!"

"_Luffy!"_ Sakura chided, the snail's eyes rolling as it mirrored the woman's exasperation. _"It's only been a couple minutes short of eight hours, just like we agreed on."_

"Yeah, but it's not like you had to wait to the end of the eight hours to call!" The rubber pirate pouted. "What was so important that you couldn't call sooner?"

"_To be honest, I didn't want to call at all. At least I had an uninterrupted night. For once."_ Sakura deadpanned.

Sanji was finally able to wrestle the receiver away from Luffy, shoving him away with a well aimed kick to the chest. "Good morning sweet Sakura-chan!"

"_Good morning, Sanji-san. How are you today?"_

"Wonderful now that I can hear your beautiful voice!" The cook joyously cheered how pleasant their Cherry-chan was once well rested and then turned a glare to Luffy who was attempting to regain control of the den den mushi. "Although anything would be better than this idiot's whining for eight hours straight. The fact that your voice came to us in our time of need means you must be an angel sent from heaven, Sakura-chan!"

"_Ahh… that's-"_

"SANJI! GIMMIE THE DEN DEN MUSHI!" Howling, Luffy lunged at the blond, his legs latching on the man's torso first before the rest of the captain's rubber body snapped forward, their foreheads clashing together with a thunderous crack.

"SA...SANJI!" Chopper exclaimed, his eyes wide as he scurried over to the now unconscious man and checking to see how extensive the damage was. "Can you hear me? Are you alright?"

"_Is everything okay?"_ Sakura inquired, slight concern touching her dulcet vocals.

"Yup." Nami plucked the receiver from Luffy's hands. "They're just being idiots, like usual."

Their snail smiled almost fondly, and the pirate crew paused a heartbeat before grinning happily back. Perhaps their idiotic captain wasn't that bad in his hard-headed decision to force Sakura into their crew.

"Shishishi!" Luffy laughed to himself, obviously pleased that his entire crew (Sakura included) were getting along. He'd let them talk to his shinobi for now since bonding between crewmembers was crucial, but he only had so much patience.

"Hey, Sakura?" Nami continued when the other female responded with a light hum. "Do you have any experience at sea? Or on a ship at all?" It wasn't absolutely necessary that she did, however having previous knowledge would make it easier for them to prepare for their newest crewmember.

"_I've been on a ship to Mizu a couple of times, but it doesn't take long to get there. I was also merely a passenger."_ The shinobi then sighed. _"This isn't about me becoming a pirate again, is it?"_

"Of cour-"

"Oi, Shinobi."

"Hey! Zoro give it back!" The swordsman ignored the orange haired navigator and stared the snail down with his single eye.

"_Yes, Zoro-san?"_ The woman had remained miffed with the swordsman because of his continuous jabs at her expense. It was a bit of harmless fun that not only garnered an amusing response from the female, but it also riled up the stupid cook.

"You don't know about the sea, but what about fighting? You said you worked at a hospital, and I thought you said you were a shinobi, not a nurse." The other pirates (other than the still unconscious Sanji) perked up, listening intently, curious to know more about the mysterious shinobi.

"_Oh, I'm a medic-nin. When I'm not on a mission, I occasionally help out at the hospital."_

"So, you're strictly a healer?" Zoro and Luffy frowned. The former disappointed that the woman wouldn't be a challenge, and the latter believing that shinobi should be cooler than just healers.

"_No no, not just a healer. All shinobi have to have at least genin-level combat abilities, and I'm currently a jounin."_

"What's a jounin? Does that mean you're strong? Can I eat it and become a shinobi?" Luffy leaned towards the snail, his excitement bubbling up once again. After the medic-nin explained the shinobi schooling system, the exams and ranks, he was practically vibrating with glee. "So jounin are super strong! Shishishi! You're awesome, Sakura!"

The mint green snail's little arms pulled up to cradle it's lightly blushing cheeks.

"_I'm not really that-"_

"_SAKURA-CHAN!"_ A male and boisterous voice bellowed out of the den den mushi, and not a single trace of blush remained.

"_What- NARUTO! What are you doing here?!"_

"_AHH! SAKURA-CHAN! Why are you just wearing you're chest bindings and panties? You're practically naked!"_

"CHERRY-CHAN IS NAKED?" Sanji bolted upright from his previous comatose state, his heart pounding wildly in his ears and the blood rushing to his head at the thought of his angel clad in frilly white and pink undergarments.

"SHE'S NOT NAKED YOU PERVERT!" Nami whacked the back of the cook's head angrily. "And that reaction time was way too fast!"

"_Where are those voices coming from? Sakura-chan! There are intruders in your apartment!"_

"_The only intruder is you Naruto! I just got out of the shower and had to call the pirates before their captain began to abuse their poor snail so I haven't had the chance to dress properly yet. Besides! I'm in my own apart-"_

"Excuse me, Sakura-san." Brook interrupted the female's explanation that would do no more than confuse her boisterous friend.

"_Yes Brook?"_

"_Wait! They're talking through the snail?"_

"I have a question, for you."

"_What is it?"_

"_Sakura-chan! Stop ignoring me!"_

Brook paused dramatically before taking a serious tone to his voice. "May I see your panties?"

"YOU PERVERT!" Nami shrieked at the skeletal musician, her boot smashing into his face and sending him crashing to the deck.

"_WHO THE HELL ARE YOU TO ASK TO SEE SAKURA-CHAN'S PANTIES YOU BASTARD!"_

"_Naruto!"_

"But she's already just in her panties isn't she? And you good sir already have the best view." Brook attempted to reason with the woman, and Sanji realized that the angel was in her unmentionables while another man was in the same room as her.

"UNACCEPTABLE!" The cook raged. "YOU! THE SUSPICIOUS MAN UNDESERVING OF SAKURA-SAN'S GLORIOUS PANTY-CLAD BODY! HOW DARE YOU JEOPARDIZE HER PURITY!"

"_Oi oi, why are you talking to such strange people, Sakura-chan?"_ The medic-nin grumbled about strange snails, hospital shifts and migraines.

"_It's a long story… I'm going to put some clothes on, come on Naruto."_

"WHAT?! Why are you taking him with you, Cherry-chan?!"

"_Because! The last thing I need is for the crew and Naruto to get together and come up with something idiotically disastrous and detrimental to mine and everyone else's well being!"_

"_Oh, here. Just put this on."_

"_Naruto!"_ Sakura growled at the man._ "I am NOT wearing that disgusting shirt and shorts that you dumped in my apartment in hopes that I would wash it for you! Leave and take your festering poor excuse for clothes with you!"_

"_But Sakura-chan!"_ Naruto whined.

"You seem to be having a difficult time, Shinobi-san." Robin observed out loud, and the navigator nodded sympathetically.

"_You have no idea."_ Sakura groaned. _"Do you have the same issues on the Sunny too?"_

"Nope!" Nami happily popped the P at the end. "I charge the crew for any grievances related to personal hygiene, so I have absolutely no issues!"

"_That must be nice."_ Sakura sighed wistfully. _"I wish it were that easy here…"_

Nami and Robin shared a grin, the raven haired woman's words then taking on an encouraging tone with hints of enticement. "Well, once you join the crew you won't have to worry about it at all, I promise you."

"_Sakura-chan, what does she mean-"_

"_Robin! I'm not-"_

"_Ugly, why are you talking to a snail?"_ A new male's voice that was likened to stagnant water that could only reflect the scenery around it, yet remained colourless on it's own.

"_Yo! Sakura-chan, are we parading around in our underwear today?"_ The second man had an almost lethargic feel to the carefree tones, and it was clear that both of them were just as familiar with the medic-nin as Naruto was.

"H-How dare you, you, you cretin! To refer to Sakura-chan as ugly!" Sanji growled at the ridiculously un-gentlemanly men around the woman.

"Hahahaha!" Zoro clutched his abdomen with mirth. "I knew it! She really must look like a sea king!"

"_Kakashi! Sai! What are you doing here?"_

"_What's a sea king?"_

"I'm going to kill you, marimo!" Sanji's leather heel clashed with the swordsman's forearm, both of them grinning madly with the promise of a beat-down.

"_Hey! Answer my question!"_

"Heh, I'd like to see you-"

"_Shut up! It's simply a nickname that Sai gave to me! This snail is a communicator of some sorts and I'm talking to Luffy and his crew! Now Kakashi, Sai, why are you here and why can't you stop using my windows like I've asked?!"_

"_You should have better traps on your windows if you don't want us coming through them."_ The lazy-toned Kakashi quirked back, and then muttered as an afterthought, _"...not that it would do any good."_

"_Yeah Sakura-chan! I'd feel safer knowing that old perverts like Kakashi wouldn't be able to get into your room at night."_ Naruto admonished.

"P-P-Pervert?!" Sanji stuttered with a bitter cocktail of anger and disbelief that an old pervert had such easy access to Sakura's room. How could they leave their angel in such a barbaric place?

"_Excuse me? Would you please be so kind to remind me why I no longer have traps on my windows?"_

"_How should I-"_

"_It was practically four in the morning, and you were coming back from a mission."_

"_Ahahaha, but Sakura-chan, I came to see you because I miss-"_

"_Four. In. The. Bloody. Morning. And you know what else was bloody?"_ The snail was the perfect picture of calm, yet everyone could hear the viper that lay under the surface just waiting to strike.

"_Uh, well I could guess-"_ Usopp and Chopper began to sweat when the now skittish snail looked marginally frightened.

"_You were you idiot! Poisoned and bleeding everywhere and then you stupidly came to my apartment instead of the hospital that I had just spent thirty-eight hours at before you decided that you MISSED me."_

"_But Sakura-chan!"_

"_And THEN you got caught in my trap because you were too incapacitated to notice it and THEN you had the gall to accused me of being a terrible medic for trapping my patients who were looking for help!"_

"_Uh… Sa-Sakura-cha-"_ Their den den mushi's eyes were absolutely terrified, it's body and shell shaking violently. The sharpshooter and doctor clutched each other in fear but unable to tear their eyes away from the horror show in front of them.

"_Maybe I should put the traps back up! Because then you wouldn't interrupt the little hours of sleep that I rarely get, someone else who isn't already chakra deprived could peel you off the bloody pavement if you happened to survive and then maybe you would get it through your thick skull that my apartment is not your personal clinic!"_

"_But Ugly, your landlady wouldn't be happy with the mess left over."_

"_I suppose you're right, Sai."_

"_You know how I hate hospitals, Sakura. Are you suggesting I should attempt to stitch myself up?"_

"_No! Kakashi, stop trying to guilt-trip me!"_

"_But it works so well."_

"_Kakashi!"_

"Hey." Luffy took over at the slight pause in conversation, and then bluntly added, "can you guys go away? We just want to talk to Sakura."

"_Luffy!"_ Sakura chided, and his crew sighed with part bemusement and exasperation.

"_Oh? And who might you be?"_ Kakashi questioned, and it was obvious that the man was displeased with the comment. Despite still holding it's carefree inflection, there was a tone that had the Straw Hat Pirates straightening their spines with alarm. This man would be a threat if not handled correctly.

The crew were tense as they speculated how to respond, however the issue was resolved for better or worse when their headstrong captain took charge in his own stubborn way.

"Monkey D. Luffy! The man who will become the Pirate King!"

"_Hmmm. And what would a pirate want with our Sakura?"_

"_Wait! Luffy-"_

"Sakura is our nakama! We're taking her with us to find One Piece!"

"_One Piece? Hmm. Well, I'm not sure what you're going on about, but pirates have no business with Sakura. Sai, get Sakura ready, Naruto, you take care of this."_ Kakashi commanded the other two shinobi and the pirate crew bristled at the man's refusal to allow Sakura to join their crew. As if he had the right to do so.

"Are you trying to order us around, you damn shinobi." Zoro snarled, his fingers twitching to draw his katana.

_"Zoro!"_

"_Come on Ugly, you've been requested for an anbu mission."_

"_Hold on a second! Wait! Sai! Kakashi!"_ The medic-nin's voice grew distant, and the pirate captain was now glaring at their den den mushi.

"_Hey, Monkey-whatever!"_ The once sunny voice was now dark and threatening. _"My name is Uzumaki Naruto, the next Hokage! You want to take our Sakura-chan for your crew?"_

"Sakura's already our nakama. She's already a Straw Hat Pirate!" The future Pirate King bellowed.

The den den mushi's eyes narrowed, it's mouth stretching into an almost feral, challenging smirk.

"_Bring it on pirates, I'd like to see you try and take her."_

_Kachak!_

* * *

**A/N:**

**THE END!** Well, kinda, maybe. You may vote on the poll on my profile concerning the future (if any) of Moshi Moshi.  
**Edit: I feel like I should clarify. Moshi Moshi, this story, will end here. If there were any sort of continuation, it would be under a new title and have a different format. I apologize for any confusion.**

Honestly, I hate this chapter. Like the first, I wrote everything in one sitting, simply forging forward without going back to edit or delete. It's probably why it's come out so quickly (releasing a chapter within four months of another is monumental, so two in one month is brain-constipating), well that and because of the tremendous support and push from my reviewers for this unplanned second chapter. Thank you everyone, I hope I didn't disappoint TTvTT

I went back to edit the first chapter (had errors in my AN /sobs), and maybe one day I'll fix the problems in this one too.

Thank you for reading, all thoughts are welcome C:


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